What It Really Means to Be Lit From Within

Lately, I’ve been asking myself something that feels both simple and soul-deep:

What does it really mean to be lit from within?

It’s not about appearing healed.

Not influencer-lit with angel numbers in your bio and a 4 a.m. green juice routine.

It’s the Light that stays when everything else falls away.

The kind that doesn’t depend on perfect circumstances, glowy skin, or whether your kids ate a vegetable today.

Because being lit from within… isn’t a vibe.

It’s a knowing.

It’s that sacred whisper that says:

“You’re not broken. You’re not lost. Your Light didn’t disappear; it just got tired of pretending. And now it’s asking for you to come back to yourself.”

I often go back to 2018.

My kids were 4 and 6. 

I had help, resources, and the Pinterest version of “life.”

And still I felt like an empty can.

It was like I was echoing inside. 

I was doing all the “right” things, but still… 

I felt like I was stuck on airplane mode. 

I was shopping like it was a spiritual practice, not for things but for meaning.

Every box at my door felt like a silent prayer: “Please let this fix me.”

But nothing on the outside could reach what was aching on the inside.

I didn’t even know how to name it then.

I knew I was spiritually depleted, but I didn’t know how to express my feelings without sounding dramatic or ungrateful.

That season felt numb, expensive, quiet, and oddly polished.

And that, my friends, was my spark.

Not because I found some guru or bought a crystal the size of Texas. 

(Though, for the record- I did those things. Desperately, glamorously, and often with overnight shipping.)

But because I finally realized how dark it had gotten inside… and started asking where the Light switch actually was.

I think about Karen Berg a lot. Although I never met her in person, I feel her presence with me now more than ever.

She taught me something I hold in my bones:

Spirituality isn’t performance. It’s permission.

Permission to be messy.

To be accountable.

To stop pretending.

You don’t need clarity to be courageous. Just enough breath to say: “I’m not sure, but I’m here for the unfolding.”

These days, I’m not technically offering sessions, but somehow, people keep finding me- friends, strangers, seekers.

And underneath all the questions, every single one of them is really asking:

“Is it really safe to be me?”

And I get it. Gosh, do I ever get it..

Because for years I was so “good,” so likable, so digestible… that I forgot how to be real.

And when I finally started disappointing other people, so I could stop betraying myself?

That’s when the glow started returning.

Not fireworks. Not spotlight. Just… Light.

My own.

I’ve had to learn how to feed my flame.

Like… really feed it.

Not with external validation, productivity, or praise.

But with the tiniest things:

• Silence

• A walk

• A bath

• Blasting motivational music with the windows down

• Laughing at something my daughter said instead of spiraling about her tone

• Saying “no” even when my voice was shaking!

That’s what it looks like to me.

The kind of moments that say: “You didn’t disappear. You’ve just been waiting for me to return.”

I don’t have some glossy, healed, highlight-reel journey to share.

I’ve had:

• Gut issues that made me bloat like a balloon

• Nighttime sugar binges that masked loneliness

• Body spirals that made me question my worth

• Soul fatigue that felt like… “Is this all there is?”

• Friendships fade that I thought would last forever

• Moments of numbing when I craved connection but scrolled instead

• Seasons of feeling unseen in a house full of people

• Dreams I shelved because I didn’t think I was “ready”

• A smile on my face and grief in my bones

• Days I felt like the vessel but forgot I was the Light

Here’s the thing.

Even at my most overwhelmed, there was always this lowkey whisper:

“You were made for more than just getting by.”

And deeper still:

“You haven’t lost yourself- you’re just hidden under survival.”

So I’ve started asking softer, braver questions:

“What would feel nourishing right now?”

And letting the answer lead me- 

Even if it’s just a breath, a walk, a tiny moment of honesty with myself. 

Even if all I can say is: “I may not feel radiant, but I’m real. And real is where the Light lives.”

Being lit from within doesn’t mean I’m never afraid.

It means I don’t let the fear have the final word.

It doesn’t mean I always feel magical.

It means I remember I am, even when I forget.

It doesn’t mean I have it all together. (My inner opponent reminds me of this often!) 

It means I’ve stopped pretending I need to. (Game Changer!)

Let me be the one to tell you- 

You’re not behind. You’re being prepared.

You’re not broken. You’re being rebuilt in truth.

You’re not too much. You’re the exact dose of Light this world needs.

You’re not far. You’re one choice away from everything shifting.

You don’t have to wait for a sign, a certification, or a permission slip from the Universe or a friend.

You don’t have to feel ready- just willing. 

Flip the switch and remember who you are!

Lit From Within! 

Xx Sandra